Log in

No account? Create an account


Hello all.. Well, those who know me knows that i like to write. Opened up this blog since i'll be having tonnes of free time here. and i thought that it'd be a waste if i dont tape down my whole experience here in Japan, my dreamland, somewhere. Ill be updating soon..

Take care people!

p/s: Purposely put this post on top for some reasons.




hi. just testing the apps from my gnote

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.


Paper walls..

with open eyes we try to make it work and for a while the magic took.
oh, the games we play to hide the tangle





The words unspoken..

is it really necessary that every single day you make me feel more and more ordinary in every possible way.
this ordinary mind is broken, you did it but u don't even know.
baby, i hate days like this, when it rain and rain, it rain and rains.
baby, i hate days like this.



all that i have is all that u've given me. did u never worry that i would come to depend on u? i give u all the love i had in me. now i find u've lied n i can't believe it's true. u'd better stop. before u tear me all apart. stop. before u go n break my heart.

time after time i try to walk away. but its not that easy when ur soul is torn in two. so i just resign to it everyday. now all i can do is to leave it up to u. stop. if u love me u will remember. now's the time to be sorry.
u'd better stop.


Cause i've relied on my illusions..

like paper walls our feelings tore, we threw our backs against the door, unwilling to bear witness to the other side.. the games we play to hide the tangled dread inside, the fear that we are going nowhere fast.. the tears of rage I cried, when nowhere could I find an answer that made any kind of sense to me.. i point the finger out and the anger gets so loud.. drowning out all the sorrow, at least until tomorrow...what then?

i wanna learn and i wanna know, will our history crush us or can we let it go?
im not the guy i was but what have i become? im not so willing anymore to bend..
still pleasing and conceding, but im not gonna lose myself again..


It's easy, let it go..

in ur heart, u have been crying for a while, haven't u? but u hide it so well, that part of urself still hasn't changed.
but u were smiling on that first encounter didn't u? perhaps that was a gentle lie u told with with all ur might.

when it was the beginning of the crossroad, u said, "it might be better to choose this way.." when it was the beginning of the crossroad, u wondered what was on the other side. but u're still moving forward, u haven't lose yet.
that day when u didn't treasure urself, the one who got hurt wasn't u. coz u can never forget the day when u first saw tears on that usually cheerful profile.

u met someone who said "I love u" and from then on, the two of u set off together. no matter what sadness u face, what happiness u meet, no matter far apart, u promised to live on together. so please watch over him, like he will do u.

hey, no matter what will happen from now on, will u be grateful for it? there were, and would be nights where the sky crash down on the knot. even so, someday in the end, u will be understood by sumone. u do know that, don't u?
hey, for all this while and coming, the loneliness, the pain, the guilt and the Love. Thank you.

we met at the light, i stare for a while and the whole world disappear.
without u, i grieve in my condition. for i cannot find the strength to say i need u so..


Just as we've placed the pot of flower by the window and protected the colorful petals,
we'll watch them grow together till the last one falls..

Happy Birthday..


i was lookin' for a very important letter last night, in my very old box of stuff. didn't find the letter but instead found another treasure. my old diaries. journals. or whatever it is u wanna call them. yeah, i write journals, since little. its my thing, let it go :P
without hesitating i started to flip through the pages n all the memories of that period started to flash across my mind. some are very important events of my life, that i have somehow 'forgotten' or learned to forget. reading through them, i realized how much i have been questioning in the past.

why am i here?
why did i ever leave u?
where am i going to?
what am i suppose to do now?
why haven't u tried to understand more?
how have i come running this far?
what can i do? what am i looking for? what's the meaning of this existence?
why? what? where? who?!? so many questions!

some of which i have grown to comprehend the answers and some, still left abandoned.

in a particular page, i found the lyrics to this song. looking back, i could vaguely recall how miserable it was to be in that room, asking all those questions. nothing seemed to calm u down, no amount of consolations, no packs of cigarettes nor medicine were ever convincing enough to answer all your questions. how pitiful. how sad. u knew u can't move on til they are all answered. though u know they are not coming anytime soon. but the song helped u through. and u did, u managed to leave all the question behind and moved forward.

reading this page now, u knew u had found the answers to all these questions. its true when they say that time will tell. it really does.
now that u finally understand why, u do not keep in even a slight regret. on why it happened or why u did that.
just so glad u were given a chance to experience all that. perhaps, to learn and experience is a pure blessing.
it makes u who u are today.

u will find the answer if u let it go.
give yourself sometime to falter, don't forgo.
knowing that u are loved no matter what.
and everything will come around in time.

image credits:Just2nite@creativity